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Reclaiming Unity: Overcoming Judgment and Trauma in the Ballroom Community

After watching my interview on the FQ Crazy Sexy Cool Podcast and reflecting on recent mainstream highlights from the Ballroom scene - like the Mugler's Houses on Fire show and the Marc Jacobs Perfect Perfume Pride initiative led by Icon YoYo Tisci or the production Cats "The Jellicle Ball" showcasing several Ballroom figures on stage and behind the scenes, I'm struck by how tarnished and traumatized we are as a community. Growing up in Ballroom, we learned to be rivals on the floor, to only trust and confide in our house members, treating them as family and viewing everyone else as outsiders. While this mindset may have served us in the past, I believe it's now harming us because we struggle to support each other without judgment. The constant judgment ingrained in us from Ballroom competitions makes it difficult to uplift one another.



I admit, I'm guilty of this too. When I watch national TV and commercial projects, I find myself anxiously searching for representation, particularly looking for a cis-woman to be involved. Only then can I relax and truly appreciate the creative efforts and contributions of our community when I see one of us is included.


Our community has been chosen as a representative of our culture on a global scale, a responsibility that comes with both honor and challenges. When certain individuals are singled out for opportunities, it can trigger complex emotions within the community. The initial reaction of judgment and envy is a natural response, stemming from our innate desire to be recognized for our individual talents and contributions. In the world of Ballroom, where we are surrounded by a group of exceptionally gifted individuals, this sentiment can be even more pronounced. It is important to acknowledge that not everyone can be selected for every opportunity, no matter how talented or deserving they may be. The competitive nature of the industry means that choices must be made, often leading to feelings of disappointment and self-doubt among those who were not chosen. The pervasive question of "why wasn't I chosen" can plague the minds of many individuals, overshadowing their achievements and potential.


As a community, it is crucial to shift our mindset from one of comparison and self-doubt to that of support and encouragement. By celebrating the successes of our peers and recognizing that each individual brings something unique to the table, we can cultivate a culture of unity and resilience. Instead of dwelling on missed opportunities, we can channel our energy into honing our skills, supporting one another, and collectively striving for excellence.


It is important for all of us to recognize and deal with the internalized problems we have. Understanding the origins of our critical attitudes is crucial. A significant part of this behavior is influenced not only by our community but also by societal expectations that push us to fiercely compete for scarce opportunities. By grasping this background, we can begin to break down these harmful patterns.



We should be creating spaces to celebrate each other's achievements, big or small, within our community. Recognition and appreciation can go a long way in building a supportive environment. Social media shout-outs, reposting, and public acknowledgments of contributions can help uplift and inspire everyone. How hard is it to hit the repost or like button regardless of house association.


It's important to collaborate and network beyond our immediate circles as well. Building alliances with other marginalized communities and mainstream allies can open up more opportunities and reduce the pressure of competition within our community. Collaborative projects can showcase the diversity and richness of our talents while promoting solidarity. If "they" see us promoting and uplifting each other, we will come across as well-liked instead of hard to work with, and more opportunities will come.


Being part of a community entails a shared responsibility to uplift, empathize with, and honor one another. It is through this collective effort that we truly thrive and grow. Neglecting this duty not only weakens the fabric of our community but also undermines our own individual growth and development. The repercussions of such neglect are not isolated; they reverberate beyond our immediate circle, shaping the perception of our community to the outside world.


So, where do we go from here? The answer lies in our ability to foster a culture of support and unity. Embracing a mindset of empathy and understanding is crucial in navigating the complexities of human relationships. It requires us to set aside our biases and preconceptions, and instead, approach each other with an open heart. As a community, it's our duty to support, love, and celebrate each other. Failing to do so means failing as a community and as individuals. This failure reflects poorly on us to the world. How do we support each other, extend a helping hand, and move beyond the trauma of shadiness and judgment?


Support requires a multifaceted approach. By acknowledging our issues, having open dialogue, celebrating achievements, and building alliances, we can create a more supportive and loving community. This transformation not only benefits us individually but also strengthens our collective presence in the world. Let's commit to uplifting each other and embracing the true essence of Ballroom - a community of extraordinary talent, resilience, and love.


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